Number 36

Written Sunday night and posted Monday night.

It’s late and I’ve just returned to Giao’s house. Today was a really good day. I’m so glad I screwed up my reservations and had this day with my new friends in Hanoi. The day started with the usual Pho. Mrs. Giao has several young girls who work for her. Every morning they smile and giggle and look at me. I make faces or mimic them and they laugh even more. Giao says they’re shy and want to communicate but don’t know English. This morning, after we finished eating, Giao went upstairs to get something and I went into the main dining area for the restaurant. The giggling started and one of the girls picked up a large tray with three heaping bowls of Pho and headed for a table to serve it. Pho is served with fried bread sticks, for dunking, which wouldn’t fit on the tray so I picked up the bowl and followed her to the table. I dramatically offered it to the customer who was surprised but smiled broadly and the girls all broke up. Mrs. Giao laughed the hardest. The Vietnamese get a bad rap. They are every bit as friendly and happy and as hospitable as the Thai’s but they aren’t perceived that way. In fact, I have been treated amazingly well here by everyone I’ve come in contact with.

We drove to the LERES center and I held a final meeting with each group. I praised them for their hard work and excellent results and thanked each and every one for making my job easy. I took a few extra minutes with each group to personalize my expression of appreciation by pointing out something really good that each of them had done. I’m so proud of them. They’ve worked long and hard and come up with so much more then we were asked to produce in less time then we were slated to have. We gathered for one less discussion and they presented me with a gift. A lacquered wooden statue and some cards that each of them had signed with a personal message. I was touched and once again moved by their kindness and generosity.

Giao came by at 11:30 to hold a debriefing session. He assembled the whole group and asked them one by one to tell what they did and give feedback on the process. Interestingly he didn’t know the names of about ½ of them. Each time someone spoke he wrote down their name and a few notes about what they said. He asked Ha to sit next to me and interpret but he was going so fast I only caught about half of it. They all said nice things about me and they way I had chosen to approach the work. At the end he asked me to say a few words. I reiterated my praise and then everyone applauded. He then thanked me and gave me a big hug and everyone applauded again. He said something else and they all smiled and clapped. Ha said he had just told them we were all going out to lunch on him. We packed up our stuff and walked downstairs to assemble the convoy. (Giao’s car and about 15 scooters) I rode with Giao, who laughingly suggested that when Bush had come to Hanoi his motorcade was smaller.

We got to the restaurant first. Giao ordered a bunch of things and the waiters started bring food just as everyone arrived.

A quick side note about something I haven’t mentioned yet. When the Vietnamese speak it always sounds like they’re angry or at least agitated. It takes a while to get used to. When I first got here I would often hear the students discussing something and come over to see what the problem was. It has a very aggressive sound to it but it’s a complete contradiction to how warm and friendly they are.

Back to the lunch. First was the beer and peanuts. A few students didn’t have beer but most did and Giao kept buying until they quit drinking. Then came boiled tofu with greens. Next was a sauteed vegetable in a garlic sauce. This was followed by French fries with three dipping sauces. Then they brought the hot pots to the table along with food to cook in them. The hot pots are large kettles on propane burners with a soup and some vegetables in them. Each one came with a heaping plate of tofu, noodles, more vegetables, beef, mushrooms and some other stuff. One student (a woman) would add things to the hot pot and as they were done they would take them out and put them on a large dish for everyone to take using their chopsticks. This went on for a long time and was really tasty. Phong suggested I take a picture of the sign that said they serve dog so I walked over to take the picture and saw most of a cooked dog on a cart. Voung had come over to take my picture by the sign and took a picture of me and the dog. It was incredibly gross but I took a photo also. I’ll put a warning on the site with the photos…Lunch involved a lot of toasting and clanging of glasses and the 20 or so of us had a great hour and a half together.

Giao took off and we headed for the main museum in Hanoi. Every single student came along. We saw the water puppet show, played on the outdoor interactive exhibits and went inside to see the permanent collection and one that was running for a few months. I don’t care much for most museums but this was fun. When it was time to go, Dot and Ling had to leave us. It was hard saying goodbye and I truly felt sad to see them go. They thanked me and hoped that they would see me again in Hanoi. The rest of us headed for a tea/coffee shop and spent a couple hours talking and laughing and taking pictures. Then it was time to say goodbye to Hoin and Nam and Thau (who is one of my favorites) and Hien. They asked Ha, in Vietnamese if they could hug me. She asked me and I said they’d better. There were expressions of gratitude, both ways, and hugs and more feeling of sadness. There were even some tears from a few of the students. Hoin’s boyfriend came to pick her up. I had never met him but he took the time to express his appreciation for all the things he had heard about me from her. The students took a lot of pictures of me hugging them and said they were afraid my wife would get jealous. They are so genuine and unassuming that to hug or to put their arms around me or each other for a photo is completely natural and refreshing.

From the tea/coffee shop, our dwindling numbers went to the Hanoi Hilton. We got there at 4:20 and it closed at 4:30. They wouldn’t let us in. I took some outside shots and told them not to worry. It wasn’t high on my list and I had seen the outside and taken a few photos so I was happy. We lost the other Dot and Medo after the "Hilton" so there was another handshake and a big hug for our short round little Medo. The rest of us headed for Sword Lake so I could take some daylight photos. It was a really nice ride past imposing government buildings, fancy shops, and block after block of little shops where people sold things. We stopped at a particularly nice place and stood around the lake for awhile so the students could do that thing they do best which is spending an inordinate amount of time determining what to eat next and where to eat it. After a long time it was decided. In the meantime we lost Vuong and Nough. I assumed Vuong (the Monkey Boy) would be hooking up with us again before the night was over but I had to have a hug from my good friend and hard worker Nough. We traveled on to dinner with our numbers depleted but not our spirit.

We ate at a cafeteria type place where they served a beef steak and large meat ball with greens, French fries and tomato. It was served in a cast iron covered skillet steaming hot and smelled great. It was brought to the table sizzling and steaming and you let it sit a few minutes because it was still cooking. It also came with a warm version of my new favorite dipping bread. We ate and it was, as all the meals I’ve had here, really good. There was a small boy with his family at the table next to us and I made faces at him which made his parents laugh. Every time I’ve had fun with small children in restaurants, stores or on the street their parents have encouraged them and laughed along with all of us. Once again we had a really good time just being together, eating and talking.

After dinner we lost a few more, had some more hugs and thank you's and hopes to see each other again some day, and we were down to 5. Phong, Ha, Chum, Ahn and I went to one of Phong’s now famous, completely secret coffee/tea house with mellow Vietnamese folk music. This one was down some stairs, through an alley and into a courtyard. We sat outside under a star fruit tree and ordered the bad tea they drink and a better one for me. We looked at each other’s pictures (on our cameras), told stories, laughed and began to feel kind of sad. They had a few guitars on the wall (common in these places) and Ha asked if I could play. I said not really but Phong and Vuong the Monkey Boy, who had joined us, said I could so she asked and I said OK. I don’t play guitar and sing in front of very many people. My playing and voice aren’t very good, but these were my friends and I felt they had been open and vulnerable with me so I played several songs. They were surprised and recorded me playing on their cameras. Then Vuong sang a folk song from his province in a quiet, emotive voice, followed by Chum singing in French, Ha singing a Vanessa Williams song, Ahn sang something I didn’t know and Phong ended it all with a quiet a capella version of a heavy metal love ballad. It was so beyond anything I’ve done in a social setting for so many years and yet it felt so good to be a part of it.

It was time to go and Ahn and Chum got their hugs. Ahn and Phong kind of have a thing so she had been with us a lot. She gave me a hug and hoped that I would come back to Vietnam soon. Chum and I would speak French together and it made her laugh. Mostly because I don’t really speak French. She was there everyday with a smile and I really appreciated her. She gave me several hugs and rode off on the back of Ahn’s scooter. Voung left but is planning on coming here in the morning to say goodbye. The Monkey Boy is a great kid and I like him a lot. I’ll definitely miss him. I rode back to Giaos’ with Phong, and mother Ha came with to make sure Giao wasn’t too unhappy that we were kind of late. They both will be going to the airport with me to say goodbye. They are my two buds, my absolute favorites and I will miss them both as more then students. They are my friends. They helped me immeasurably. They were selfless and giving and caring. And they are truly good people. (even though Phong, or Bruce Wayne as he calls himself is a self –proclaimed lady killer)

We woke Giao up but he wasn’t mad. I guess the hug and the beer have washed away any problems between us. He was genuinely happy at the lunch and lavished praise on me. I also know that he asked the Dean and Dr. Chi to follow up on their invitation for me to come teach at VNU. So in the end, it all worked out. I found an amazing city that I love. I found a large group of friends who met me as a teacher and accepted me as a friend. Friends who are truly sad that I am leaving and friends that I feel truly sad to leave. I have these crazy thoughts about trying to make a life here but there are so many obstacles in the way. So many impracticalities. But just the fact that I’m thinking about it amazes me.

Don’t know anything about Chiang Mai today except that the Laos and the Thai’s sent me a phone message (SMS) saying they miss me and are looking forward to my return. But I do know that this was a great day in Hanoi and one of the best days I’ve had in a really long time

P. S. I've arrived safely in Chiang Mai after a long day of travel.